Lose this pillow

It's on my mind so I may as well talk about it. Kaiser has this industrial strength weight loss program, called "Optifast". I suppose that is derived from the word "optimum" and therefore means optimum fast. According to the scientific data I need something in excess of 2200 calories a day to maintain my status as "inordinately corpulent". On Optifast I will be ingesting 800 calories a day. The prognosis is an enormous loss of weight (which in my case consists largely of a pillow where my lap should be).

Also to be expected is a bit of a grouchy disposition. I have vowed not to growl at my wife, so I hope it's okay if I sound off to you, my few readers.

This is a group project, resembling Weight Watchers in that respect. So I have to begin when the class begins, and that date is Nov 30. Three of my medications will be discontinued at that time. It sounds a little scary, but I am looking forward to this. I am hoping to make it a permanent release from diabetic medications.

According to the testimonies I heard on the DVD during our orientation session, we can expect to lose 10 pounds or more the very first week. That should offset my grouchy attitude. Halfway through the DVD the machine stalled out and we never saw the last half of the DVD. I hope that is not a prophetic warning. Some fatties have lost 150 pounds or more.

I was asked at what weight was I last comfortable. I told her that I had never been asked that question before. While I was scrambling for a good answer, she re-phrased the question: "What is your goal?" I told her that I wanted to be under 200. So she wrote down 190-199. The day we married I weighed 155, but I don't even want to go down that far. At this point in my life I do not think that would be healthy.

I will have 4 shakes a day and one soup. I hope I like the flavor of the shake. Everyone says the soup is very good. When we travel I will simply need my shaker and the powder packs. Of course the shakes come in chocolate, strawberry and vanilla, and I hate chocolate. Torani makes calorie-free flavor syrups that gives me the options I need for variety in my diet. No, the flavors do not include chili or enchilada.