Okay, there were several martyrs named Valentine. Whoever was born/buried on February 14 had nothing to do with the kind of traditions we have attached to this day. Chaucer is to blame for most of it, and, of course, it is perpetuated by the commercial interests of confectioners, jewelers and florists. To speak against Valentine's Day would be to cast oneself in the role of loveless killjoy. I have no intention of doing that. In fact I love the day and the celebration.
Cupid, whose name means "desire", appears on this day, doing his mysterious thing. He is the god of lust, and when he hits you with his arrow--wow, the magic happens. Eros is a legitimate part of love, and more often than not, it is where a loving relationship begins.
I vividly remember the moonlight hike at family camp when I first held hands with my sweetheart. At the risk of evoking scornful laughter, I confess to you that this was a very erotic moment in our relationship. It was exciting and it was effective interpersonal communication.
I think love is grand, and I enjoy seeing it bud and blossom in sweet young people all around me. But there is a tragedy in our culture. So many of our young people stall out at the erotic level of a relationship. The American milieu has it's throttle stuck on sex, and not many know how to love because of this.
The excitement of a marriage of eros only, cannot last long. This is true simply because emotion is like that. The thrill of a roller coaster is momentary. The excitement of a touchdown is fleeting. Those who are addicted to adrenalin must necessarily seek a new and higher thrill.
Love, on the other hand, vividly remembers all those thrilling moments of eros (and plans to create more of them), but as it matures, it seeks the comfort and pleasure of the beloved. "It's not about me." When young lovers give of themselves for the good of the one loved, this creates a happy and thriving love. All you ever wanted from a spouse comes to pass as the natural flow of this kind of giving love develops a relationship. When I love her the way I should, she increases her caring and catering to me.
I am called to love her as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for her. She is to submit herself to me as the church does to Christ in all things. This doesn't just happen. It develops. And it all begins when you begin to know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge. Herein is love: not that we loved God, but that he has loved us, and given us his Son as the propitiation of our sins. Not enough people understand that so go back and read the epistle of First John in the Bible.
I say Hooray for Valentine's Day! Hooray for eros! But especially hooray for the real and lasting love that comes after that!
Amen!
ReplyDelete♥ Bethany Brubaker
www.happyhomemaker.me